Just a note, If anyone want's to make a character for this series feel free. I'd really like some more people to put into the story.
I feel the warp overtaking me! ...it is a good pain.
Anarchy
@TheDeathlessPrince
Age 34, Male
Flensing
...Schools are for burning
Bedroom, Earth
Joined on 12/6/08
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Comments
...Wow...
This make me remember I started one! Let's get back to work!
Make me a character.
Whenever I read the protagonist's last name ''Higgins'' I think Haggis for some unknown reason. So the 1st paragraph was a dream? God damn dream introductions. Training, mindless conversation about how boring work there is. Skip that. Anthony Haggis is drunk captain of a disordered ship. This guy fits the rouge police- I mean captain role well. Feds enter to make it seem as it was going get exciting but no burst of violence yet as if tempting us but we gain nothing. This fits the stereotypical action stories expect you don't see any killing yet but it tempts you into think there will be.
''she thumbed at Steve.'' Dang you, Steve Summers I mean Winters!
"What is is[it] Vlaana?" I see no mistake here.
Sorry I was trying to find blood shed or killing but I found none. It was a good long 1st chapter of a story.
May I ask if the ending of the story involves Captain Anthony Higgins wearing a captain hat and looks at his family picture in his watch locket while his ship explodes? If not, think of it as a suggestion. Also I rushed this comment.
Wince you want to complain I'll spoil it for you and say that nightmare was actually a memory, hence the drinking and there is plenty of violence to come.
I wrote this at 2am with wordpad, no grammar checking and no spell checking and so fucked up on energy drinks I could have powered my ceiling fan by plugging it into my ass.
[Edit] By the way if you find any more typos and errors and shit point them out so I can fix them.
L0L nice chapter :D
It's hardly a full chapter, it's like what five, ten pages tops?
If anyone's wondering this is what one of the character sheets is like...
Gaia
Gender: Male
Height: 6'6"
Age: 26
Weight: 220lbs
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Brown
Skin: Tanned
Tall, heavily built and rough.
Att. Pts.:
Skill Pts.:
Origin:
Agility:d6
Strength:d12
Vitality:d10
Alertness:d8
Intelligence:d8
Willpower:d10
Initiative:d6+d8
Burst of Str.:d12+d12
Life:24
Wound Lvl:0
Speed:15ft,Run:30ft+d6+d6
Skills:
Athletics:d6
-Dodge:d12
Covert:d4
Discipline:d10
Guns:d6
-Assult Rifles:d12
-Machine Guns:d8
-Rifles:d8
-Energy Weapons:d8
Heavy Weapons:d6
-Demolitions:d8
Melee Weapons:d6
Perception:d4
Survival:d4
Unarmed Combat:d6
Armor:
-Ballistic Mesh, AR 1 (Converts all wounds except knives axes arrows ect. to stun), Wg:4lbs
Attack/s:
-Pistol, Rng 100ft, Damage 1d4(w), ROF:3, Mag:8, #Mags:4, Wg:2lbs
-Newtech Assult Rifle (x2), Rng 150ft, Damage 1d10(w), ROF:3, Mag:40, #Mags 10, Wg:11lbs
-Combat Knife, Damag:d4(w),Wg:1lb
-6 Fragmentation Grenades, Damage:5d6(w) Radius:15ft, Wg:1lb(Each)
Assets:
Fightin' Type (Major)
-Gaia has a short temper, and is always ready to be let off his leash.
Military Rank (Minor) (Soldier)
-Gaia was only in service for six months before he was court martialed and dishonourably dismissed from duty.
Tough as Nails (Major)
-The man can take a beating, no doubt about it.
Complications:
Branded (Minor)
-A bit of a tussel on his carrier has earnt Gaia a black mark with his crew, and half the Alliance military.
Credo (Major) (Never backs down from a fight, will always finish what he starts)
-Gaia will never walk away, never back down and always has the last word.
Chip on the Shoulder (Major)
-Gaia hates the Alliance, since he found out exaclty what helping people meant when his Carrier skipped on rescuing some stranded folks... that slavers paying the local Alliance captain to turn a blind eye are 'loyal citizens that would never break the law'.
Dismissed from the Alliance military for refusing to obey orders and assulting a superior officer Gaia now sells his services to the highest bidder, which is what landed him in the service of Higgins and the Raven.
Gaia was one of the few private security firm mercs that survived the Reaver raid on Openvalley, Lilac and since pretty much the whole firm went bust Gaia went his own way... straight into the coin.
Widowmaker is probably the only real threat to Gaia's livelyhood, a notion he tests on several occasions.
They're pretty easy to make, simpler than any RPG I've ever played and yet they still give all the information and complexities a story needs.
hunte3r
nice story
TheDeathlessPrince
Only chapter 1